• Written and performed by Carmelita Tropicana; directed by David Schweizer [excerpt from the full performance]. With What Ass Does the Cockroach Sit? / Con Que Culo Se Sienta la Cucaracha? is included in the anthology, Animal Acts: Performing Species Now, edited by Una Chaudhuri and Holly Hughes and published by University of Michigan Press. Performances staged at the University of Michigan's Duderstadt Media Center, March 21-23, 2013.

Transcript

  • WEBVTT

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    [APPLAUSE]
    >> Woo, [FOREIGN] okay,

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    you have horses,

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    you have dogs, you have cats,

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    you have everything, right?

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    So what's missing?

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    La cucaracha, that's right.

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    I know for those of you,
    how many Latinos in the house?

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    >> [APPLAUSE]
    >> Okay, some.

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    How many of you know the story of
    La Cucarachita Martina, la cucaracha?

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    >> [FOREIGN]
    >> Okay, a couple of you, not a lot, okay?

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> So for those of you who don't know,

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    I'm gonna tell you very, very quickly.

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    This is a story about a love that dared
    not speak its name between a cockroach and

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    a mouse.

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    And it was a cockroach that lives
    in Spain, a very pretty cucaracha,

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    who's always cleaning, this cucaracha
    is always cleaning with a broom.

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    And one day, she finds a coin.

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    And then she thinks,
    what can I buy with that coin, huh, what?

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    Well, what would she buy
    if she's a cockroach?

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    Face powder, of course.

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> So she puts a little makeup on.

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    She looks so good and so hot that
    all the animals want to marry her.

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    So they all come courting,
    there is the duck, quack, quack, quack.

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    But she goes, okay, she has to ask
    them how they will talk to her.

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    And if they talk nice,
    she's gonna marry one of them.

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    But she has the frog, the frog goes okay,
    Mr. Senor Frog, how would you talk to me?

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    And the frog goes,
    barum barum barum barum, or in English,

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    it would be ribbit, ribbit, ribbit.

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    He goes, I know that sound'll drive
    me crazy morning, noon, and night.

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    You guys do not shut up, forget about it.

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    And then the rooster comes in, and

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    she goes okay, rooster,
    how would you talk to me?

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    And the rooster goes [SOUND],
    cuz it's a Spanish rooster.

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    The American rooster
    will cock-a-doodle-doo,

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    cock-a-doodle-doo, okay?

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> So then she says oh my God,

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    no, that's a lot of noise, okay?

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    That's a lot of noise.

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    And then comes a little [FOREIGN],
    Perez, the mouse who

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    everybody believes is a full blooded royal
    mouse, who knows how to curtsy very well.

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    So she goes, okay, [FOREIGN] Perez,
    how would you talk to me?

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    And the [FOREIGN] Perez goes choo,
    choo, choo, choo.

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    Oh my God, she falls in love,
    they get married.

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    She dances flamenco at the wedding,
    then one day, look, there she.

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> She's singing flamenco at the wedding.

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    Let me see if I see the,
    here's Perez, you know Perez?

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    Okay, she's in the balcony.

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    Perez is courting,
    then she dances flamenco.

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    Then one day for the holiday,
    she is cooking a nice sweet dessert.

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    So she's cooking a nice sweet dessert,
    but she's also very clean.

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    There she is cooking the dessert.

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    But she's very clean, so she keeps
    on with the broom cleaning outside.

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    She leaves the pot burning, and

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    the mouse Perez goes, oh,
    it smells delicious, I wonder what it is.

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    So he gets up on a little stool,
    like we have our chair like this.

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    He gets up on the stool or a chair.

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    And he sees a little almond.

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    He thinks, oh, I’m gonna get that almond.

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    And when he goes to get that almond,
    he flips over and

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    goes into the pot and boils to death.

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> Look, I know,

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    this is what they tell children
    before they go to bed.

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    Look, these are the little feet, okay.

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    The little feet of the poor mouse,
    look at this.

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    Oh, thank you very much.

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    Look at the little feet, okay?

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    This is horrible, horrible, but so

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    what happened with the cucaracha,
    well, she sings, she becomes a widow.

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    And she sings and
    she sings to her little mouse, Perez.

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    She never forgets him, but
    she ends up being a widow.

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    So, it's a beautiful story that we
    tell the children of Latin America,

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    it's very well known.

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> And

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    besides Kafka's Metamorphosis,
    Joan Didion's Miami, and

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    George Orwell's Animal Farm,
    Perez Martina was one of my inspirations.

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    So this dramatic story I'm going to do for

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    you today is based on
    the Elián González story.

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    I don't know how many of you know,
    but Elián González was a little boy,

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    five years old, who went on a trip,
    and he was shipwrecked, found at sea.

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    And then his custody battle
    created an international crisis.

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    So, the title of my piece
    is called [FOREIGN].

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    With what ass does a cockroach sit,
    and I will try,

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    like Stanislavsky, to become a cockroach.

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    Can you tell I'm a Cuban cockroach?

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    Okay.

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> Okay, but I'm not feeling so

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    cucaracha today.

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> I think this is a little off.

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    I'll just put it here.

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    Yes, it's good to change things.

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    Okay, I'm not feeling cucaracha.

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    I don't know why, but
    you know what I think?

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    [FOREIGN] The shoes,
    now that's more cucaracha, right?

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    That's more cucaracha, okay.

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    Quick, hide.

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    Quick, hide.

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    That should be my name, not Martina.

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    That's what they should put on my
    tombstone, here lies Quick, Hide.

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    Oh, the life of a cucaracha is really tough.

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    People think we're dirty.

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    But what do they expect when
    we gotta hide all the time?

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    Inside a greasy stove, under a dresser
    with a dust bunny the size of a bull frog.

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    And only if you're really lucky,

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    behind a can of Planters peanuts that have
    been opened, and you can lick the salt.

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    We suffer so much anxiety.

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    You gotta have eyes in the back of
    your head cuz you never know where

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    the danger's coming from.

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    But I shouldn't complain,
    this is a good family situation for me.

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    The old man is 80 years old and
    slow as molasses, and Catalina,

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    my best friend,
    is a very generous parrot, but bossy.

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    Oh, I gotta do all her leg work
    cuz I got six legs and

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    she's got two, and
    she's got to be inside her cage.

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    Everyday at 9 a.m.,
    I gotta go into her old man's bedroom

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    to see if he's packing
    a suitcase to leave on a trip.

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    And she's so strict with me, we gotta have
    vocabulary lessons at 12 before lunch.

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    And then at 3, cafe con leche. Cafe con leche,
    not just regular cafe con leche but

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    cafe con leche with a discussion.

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    And she gets upset with me if I say
    something she don't wanna hear.

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    [FOREIGN] Like my grandfather used to say,

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    Al rey no se le dice lo que no quiere oir - you don't tell the king
    what he don't wanna hear.

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    No?

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    >> [LAUGH]

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    >> [SOUND] Practice

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    makes perfect.

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> [FOREIGN] Where is Martina?

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    I've never met a cucaracha more resistant.

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    Any type of intellectual
    stimulation is like a punishment.

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    How many times have I told her we must
    feed our brains as well as our souls?

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    And to think I was once like her.

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    La salvaje, a wild savage.

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    I was not born in Havana, but
    some called me, La Señora de la Habana Vieja.

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    No, this grande dame of Havana
    was born in the jungle, and

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    taken by a man who took Cuban parrots
    to sell in the black market.

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    And that's how my brother, Francisco,
    now Harry, ended up in Chicago.

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> And I ended up with my old man,

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    the Grammy winning singer of
    the Nueva Vista Social Club.

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    My Grammy winner, so handsome.

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    [FOREIGN]
    Big bags under his eyes,

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    magic fingers that can pluck the guitar.

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    And massage my [SOUND] cranium [LAUGH].

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    My old man and I, we're going to
    be doing a duet together of a CD.

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    And that's why I work hard
    to elevate myself and

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    learn a new vocabulary word every day.

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    Yesterday's word was succinct.

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> Martina should be happy.

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    How many roaches are there that learn
    vocabulary and live in such splendor?

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    A cage that's the exact replica
    of the Palace of Versailles.

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    My mirrors!

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    My Louis Quatorze chair!

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    And my divan.

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    Most people are hungry in Cuba,
    I am like Marie Antoinette.

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    I say, let them eat cake [FOREIGN]
    >> [LAUGH]

    153
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    >> Martina, Martina!

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    [FOREIGN]
    Where were you?

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    I assume there's nothing to report.

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    No suitcase, no packing going on.

    157
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    He's not going away on a singing trip, no.

    158
    00:10:00.500 --> 00:10:04.144
    >> No, no packing, no suitcase,
    no, not like that, no.

    159
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    >> Okay,
    let us begin with our vocabulary lesson.

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    The word for today is, petit pois,
    that's French for peas.

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    Repeat after me.

    162
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    Petit pois.

    163
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    Again?

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> Again?

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    Now a sentence.

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    I love my petit pois.

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> Is that it?

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> Very well.

    169
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    What, you're not staying
    to hear Bertha the Bee,

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    the Animal Internet's new reporter?

    171
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    Keep on buzzing Bertha?

    172
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    You think she's dry?

    173
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    Don't you mean succinct?

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> Yes,

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    I know you like Lumumba the Lizard's
    reporting but he's old.

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    Yes, very well, go, meet Lumumba, but
    remember café con leche is at 3:00.

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    And our discussion is
    going to be a good one,

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    all about Spain becoming the biggest
    investor in the Cuban economy.

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    [FOREIGN]
    Lumumba.

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    00:11:08.056 --> 00:11:12.891
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> Lumumba.

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    >> Poor guy,
    his legs don't have good suction no more.

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    To think that I used to
    live in this apartment!

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    This was a very bad family situation for
    me.

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    A lot of danger, and no food!

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    One week I was on a strict diet of hair.

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    Hair is so bad for the digestion!

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    >> [LAUGH]
    >> [LAUGH]

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    >> A shadow around me, ow, ow, ow.

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    Hey, kid your finger on
    my antenna is killing me.

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    What, you're a good boy and

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    you gotta kill me cuz nobody likes
    roaches in the house, they're dirty.

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    No, no that's a lie, a lie.

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    You're a good boy and you don't lie, and

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    you like to play with the tourist children
    at the hotel where your father works.

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    But the tourist children got bigger,
    better toys than you,

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    a Power Ranger and an SUV.

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    But you got toys that are magic,
    a rock and a stick, and they can fly.

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    You're a smart boy!

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    And you like to wash your daddy's car?

    200
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    So bye bye dirty roach, I kill you.

    201
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    No, no, kid, I'm very clean!

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    I'm so clean, I'm friends with the Queen!

    203
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    What Queen you ask, what's your name?

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    Elian Gonzalez. The Queen of Spain.

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    You saw her on TV?

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    You love TV?

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    Me too.

    208
    00:12:34.840 --> 00:12:37.415
    Take your finger off my antenna and
    I'll tell you all about it.

    209
    00:12:37.415 --> 00:12:42.668
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> No, no I won't run, I promise.

    210
    00:12:43.745 --> 00:12:48.205
    See Elian, I was in a flamenco

    211
    00:12:48.205 --> 00:12:53.568
    dancing contest, that's right.

    212
    00:12:53.568 --> 00:12:58.710
    I was the best dancer of
    flamenco in all of Cuba.

    213
    00:12:58.710 --> 00:13:02.060
    And that's how I got to be the roach
    in waiting to the Queen of Spain.

    214
    00:13:02.060 --> 00:13:04.810
    Yes sit down, I'll tell you all about it,
    no I won't run.

    215
    00:13:04.810 --> 00:13:09.850
    There I was, dancing, dancing, dancing,
    with a mantilla on my head, ole.

    216
    00:13:09.850 --> 00:13:10.740
    What?

    217
    00:13:10.740 --> 00:13:13.690
    Oh yeah, they cut two little
    holes on my mantilla so

    218
    00:13:13.690 --> 00:13:15.345
    my antennas could stick out, yeah.

    219
    00:13:15.345 --> 00:13:17.320
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> Elian, and

    220
    00:13:17.320 --> 00:13:20.070
    when queens eat,
    what do queens usually have?

    221
    00:13:21.640 --> 00:13:27.570
    A crown, yeah but she doesn't wanna wear a
    crown cuz she wants to be more democratic.

    222
    00:13:27.570 --> 00:13:33.610
    No, more communist, no more capital,
    oh, the politics got me mixed up, okay.

    223
    00:13:33.610 --> 00:13:35.730
    Look, queens have banquets,

    224
    00:13:35.730 --> 00:13:40.020
    the only problem is that
    the banquet is in a restaurant.

    225
    00:13:40.020 --> 00:13:43.642
    And there's nothing that restaurant
    owners hate more than us roaches.

    226
    00:13:43.642 --> 00:13:46.730
    But I, [LAUGH] [FOREIGN],

    227
    00:13:46.730 --> 00:13:51.410
    I jump on the back of the queen's
    dress and hold on to the back.

    228
    00:13:51.410 --> 00:13:57.730
    Oh my god, it was so pretty, I had to
    read the label, Carolina Herrera, and

    229
    00:13:57.730 --> 00:14:01.840
    when I look up, the restaurant
    owner staring at me with such hate.

    230
    00:14:01.840 --> 00:14:04.360
    But I stare right back,
    he can't do a thing.

    231
    00:14:04.360 --> 00:14:06.212
    He whacks me, he whacks the Queen.

    232
    00:14:06.212 --> 00:14:07.860
    [LAUGH]
    >> [LAUGH]

    233
    00:14:07.860 --> 00:14:10.000
    >> I went down on the back of the Queen's

    234
    00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:14.275
    dress, holding on and
    waving just like the Queen.

    235
    00:14:14.275 --> 00:14:16.320
    Elian, you try the royal wave.

    236
    00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:21.900
    That's right, that's right, and I made
    the headlines in the Animal Internet.

    237
    00:14:21.900 --> 00:14:24.355
    That's the AI, where we get the news.

    238
    00:14:24.355 --> 00:14:28.948
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> [FOREIGN] Dines with the Queen of

    239
    00:14:28.948 --> 00:14:29.993
    Spain.

    240
    00:14:29.993 --> 00:14:31.220
    What?

    241
    00:14:31.220 --> 00:14:32.870
    You wanna kiss me?

    242
    00:14:32.870 --> 00:14:35.166
    So, I turn into a princess.

    243
    00:14:35.166 --> 00:14:36.755
    Ah, no chico, that happens in fairy tales.

    244
    00:14:36.755 --> 00:14:41.671
    If you kiss me, I'll be a roach, but
    a roach in waiting to the Queen of Spain.

    245
    00:14:41.671 --> 00:14:42.796
    Quick, hide.

    246
    00:14:42.796 --> 00:14:44.536
    Quick, hide.

    247
    00:14:44.536 --> 00:14:46.070
    Thanks, kid.

    248
    00:14:47.500 --> 00:14:48.970
    Look at that.

    249
    00:14:48.970 --> 00:14:50.120
    He's waving at me.

    250
    00:14:56.154 --> 00:14:57.770
    Martina, [FOREIGN].

    251
    00:14:57.770 --> 00:14:59.080
    Where were you?

    252
    00:14:59.080 --> 00:15:01.190
    My old man's coming any moment now.

    253
    00:15:02.320 --> 00:15:03.060
    Oh, there he is.

    254
    00:15:03.060 --> 00:15:05.789
    Quick, hide,
    hide under the sunflower seeds.

    255
    00:15:08.421 --> 00:15:14.369
    [FOREIGN]
    >> [LAUGH]

    256
    00:15:14.369 --> 00:15:18.600
    >> I'm hiding under the sunflower seeds

    257
    00:15:18.600 --> 00:15:21.600
    and I see the old man shuffling and
    singing.

    258
    00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:26.370
    And he's calling Catalina
    the flower of his existence.

    259
    00:15:26.370 --> 00:15:31.221
    And then, he tells her that he's
    going on a singing trip to Miami.

    260
    00:15:31.221 --> 00:15:33.897
    Oh my God, she loses it.

    261
    00:15:33.897 --> 00:15:38.627
    No Miami, no Miami, no, no Miami, no!

    262
    00:15:38.627 --> 00:15:43.193
    Well, the guy, he's a smooth operator,
    because then he says,

    263
    00:15:43.193 --> 00:15:48.187
    they're gonna do a CD together and
    that he's gonna give her a massage.

    264
    00:15:48.187 --> 00:15:50.840
    When he says massage, that's the key word.

    265
    00:15:53.230 --> 00:15:54.025
    I see, Papi.

    266
    00:15:54.025 --> 00:15:56.467
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> Give it to me, Papi.

    267
    00:15:56.467 --> 00:15:59.468
    Give it to me, give it to me,
    give it to me.

    268
    00:15:59.468 --> 00:16:02.820
    [LAUGH]
    >> [INAUDIBLE] An old man and

    269
    00:16:02.820 --> 00:16:05.775
    a parrot,
    that relationship is not healthy okay.

    270
    00:16:05.775 --> 00:16:10.150
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> But life is good for me here.

    271
    00:16:11.340 --> 00:16:15.560
    All I gotta do is shut up,
    I'm getting good at climbing

    272
    00:16:16.620 --> 00:16:20.660
    the dresser where the old
    man keeps his postcards.

    273
    00:16:20.660 --> 00:16:22.260
    I could use a little contemplating.

    274
    00:16:23.340 --> 00:16:28.420
    There is nothing more relaxing than
    contemplating on top of a postcard.

    275
    00:16:28.420 --> 00:16:34.683
    My favorite is Rio de Janeiro,
    where Yemalla has her feast day.

    276
    00:16:34.683 --> 00:16:37.880
    I love Yemalla because
    she respects roaches.

    277
    00:16:37.880 --> 00:16:38.890
    Thank you, Yemalla for

    278
    00:16:38.890 --> 00:16:42.465
    not letting Elian believe I was a dirty,
    dumb, disgusting roach.

    279
    00:16:42.465 --> 00:16:46.537
    [SOUND] Contemplating is good.

    280
    00:16:46.537 --> 00:16:49.982
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> We roaches, we are bumpy bugs.

    281
    00:16:49.982 --> 00:16:52.943
    The bees, and the ants,
    they're the workaholics.

    282
    00:16:52.943 --> 00:16:58.986
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> We love to contemplate, yeah.

    283
    00:16:58.986 --> 00:17:06.127
    [SOUND] You know, sometimes I don't understand
    why people hate us so much?

    284
    00:17:06.127 --> 00:17:12.530
    We've been in this planet since the day of
    the dinosaur and we are not extinct, why?

    285
    00:17:14.560 --> 00:17:18.750
    Cuz we outsmart people and
    we're easygoing.

    286
    00:17:18.750 --> 00:17:22.250
    How many times they hit us with a broom?

    287
    00:17:22.250 --> 00:17:27.455
    And then they go find a pan or a newspaper
    to pick the cadaver up and surprise!

    288
    00:17:27.455 --> 00:17:29.020
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> And

    289
    00:17:29.020 --> 00:17:33.319
    then they yell [FOREIGN]
    where did that [FOREIGN] go?

    290
    00:17:33.319 --> 00:17:38.431
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> We outsmart people, yeah!

    291
    00:17:38.431 --> 00:17:40.790
    We live, we are survivors.

    292
    00:17:40.790 --> 00:17:45.017
    We live even if our lives
    are full of insult.

    293
    00:17:55.830 --> 00:18:03.870
    Martina, Martina Martina, you missed Bertha.

    294
    00:18:03.870 --> 00:18:05.850
    But I will tell you the news.

    295
    00:18:07.448 --> 00:18:13.561
    Oh, in that old French tradition,
    that of the raconteur and

    296
    00:18:13.561 --> 00:18:17.699
    the lead story today is such a tragedy.

    297
    00:18:19.050 --> 00:18:21.930
    A tragedy, a tragedy, oh, I love a tragedy.

    298
    00:18:21.930 --> 00:18:26.270
    Please, can I rip a little piece of
    paper from your cage to use as a hanky?

    299
    00:18:28.120 --> 00:18:29.206
    If you must.

    300
    00:18:35.746 --> 00:18:42.562
    It all started at 4 a.m. in the morning, 14
    people huddled together by some trees and

    301
    00:18:42.562 --> 00:18:46.510
    shrubs to the shore boarded
    a boat to leave Cuba.

    302
    00:18:46.510 --> 00:18:50.820
    Last passengers were young mother and
    her boy El Nino,

    303
    00:18:50.820 --> 00:18:54.620
    five years old. Isn't it something?

    304
    00:18:54.620 --> 00:19:00.100
    [FOREIGN] The queen,
    the pope, Leonardo DiCaprio,

    305
    00:19:00.100 --> 00:19:03.610
    they all come to Cuba by plane,
    and then others, they go by boat.

    306
    00:19:05.870 --> 00:19:06.685
    Are you finished?

    307
    00:19:06.685 --> 00:19:10.170
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> Before they boarded the boat,

    308
    00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:16.360
    the boy turned to look back, but
    what he, the mother bent down and

    309
    00:19:16.360 --> 00:19:18.680
    said Nino don't look back.

    310
    00:19:18.680 --> 00:19:21.236
    There's our future [FOREIGN].

    311
    00:19:21.236 --> 00:19:24.200
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> The captain of the boat

    312
    00:19:24.200 --> 00:19:27.680
    took the boy from her,
    he was her boyfriend.

    313
    00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:31.570
    And when the mother saw the boat packed
    like a can of sardines, she hesitated.

    314
    00:19:31.570 --> 00:19:35.030
    But the boyfriend said [FOREIGN] and
    she did.

    315
    00:19:35.030 --> 00:19:38.580
    It was so crowded in the boat,
    the mother held the boy in her arms and

    316
    00:19:38.580 --> 00:19:40.830
    when the boy turned to look back and

    317
    00:19:40.830 --> 00:19:44.070
    didn't see any lights on shore
    a tear trickled down his cheek.

    318
    00:19:44.070 --> 00:19:46.400
    He wiped it off with the back of his hand.

    319
    00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:49.490
    He wanted to be brave, but
    he had a lump in his throat.

    320
    00:19:49.490 --> 00:19:52.390
    The mother, to distract him,
    pointed to the planets.

    321
    00:19:52.390 --> 00:19:57.640
    There's Pluto, Venus, Mars, she got them
    all wrong but it did distract the boy.

    322
    00:19:57.640 --> 00:20:01.630
    Then she starts to sing,
    When You Wish Upon a Star.

    323
    00:20:03.410 --> 00:20:05.914
    Aye, nobody sings that
    better than Jimminy Cricket.

    324
    00:20:05.914 --> 00:20:08.526
    [FOREIGN]
    >> [LAUGH]

    325
    00:20:08.526 --> 00:20:10.898
    >> [FOREIGN] cannot hold a candle to my

    326
    00:20:10.898 --> 00:20:12.420
    old man.

    327
    00:20:12.420 --> 00:20:17.870
    Not long after that,
    not long after that, the boat

    328
    00:20:17.870 --> 00:20:24.140
    stopped and the boyfriend, the boyfriend
    went to see if he could fix the motor.

    329
    00:20:24.140 --> 00:20:26.960
    To make matters worse, it started to rain.

    330
    00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:29.630
    The drops were the size of quarters!

    331
    00:20:29.630 --> 00:20:33.962
    People start to get antsy, they,
    they said what is happening,

    332
    00:20:33.962 --> 00:20:36.780
    we're not moving, we paid $1000!

    333
    00:20:36.780 --> 00:20:39.650
    The boyfriend tried to fix the motor but
    he couldn't.

    334
    00:20:39.650 --> 00:20:43.000
    Then the waves kept rocking more
    violently from side to side.

    335
    00:20:43.000 --> 00:20:46.510
    The mother put the boy down and
    he almost lost his balance.

    336
    00:20:46.510 --> 00:20:50.590
    A big wave poured water over them,
    a woman screamed as she fell.

    337
    00:20:50.590 --> 00:20:53.354
    Suddenly there was thunder and
    lightning and people panicked.

    338
    00:20:53.354 --> 00:20:58.030
    And panic is like wildfire,
    once it starts it's impossible to put out.

    339
    00:20:58.030 --> 00:21:00.710
    People rocking more violently now.

    340
    00:21:00.710 --> 00:21:04.090
    Another wave put water into the boat and
    the boyfriend yelled for

    341
    00:21:04.090 --> 00:21:05.760
    people to calm down.

    342
    00:21:05.760 --> 00:21:09.520
    Suddenly a man went overboard,
    people screamed he's drowning.

    343
    00:21:09.520 --> 00:21:14.830
    The boyfriend yelled the mother to get two
    inner tubes to use as a life preserver.

    344
    00:21:14.830 --> 00:21:18.590
    The mother grabbed one for
    the child and put it on him and

    345
    00:21:18.590 --> 00:21:21.920
    then the boyfriend yelled the mother
    to grab the rope he was throwing and

    346
    00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:24.750
    she quickly tied the boy to the tube.

    347
    00:21:24.750 --> 00:21:29.170
    And said to him Nino hold on, hold on.

    348
    00:21:29.170 --> 00:21:33.200
    She was about to tie herself to the tube
    when a monstrous wave was forming and

    349
    00:21:33.200 --> 00:21:34.810
    growing bigger than all the others.

    350
    00:21:34.810 --> 00:21:39.969
    And the weight of the passengers along
    with the fury of the wave capsized

    351
    00:21:39.969 --> 00:21:44.523
    the boat until all of the passengers
    are hurled into the ocean.

    352
    00:21:46.601 --> 00:21:47.880
    El nino?

    353
    00:21:47.880 --> 00:21:50.250
    The boy, the boy was under water.

    354
    00:21:50.250 --> 00:21:53.160
    He opened his eyes, he couldn't
    see a thing, he swallowed water,

    355
    00:21:53.160 --> 00:21:54.540
    he gagged in a few seconds.

    356
    00:21:54.540 --> 00:21:59.150
    The tube lifted him up, with the rain,
    thunder and darkness he was confused.

    357
    00:21:59.150 --> 00:22:00.020
    Where was his mommy?

    358
    00:22:00.020 --> 00:22:01.890
    Is there someone by the sinking ship?

    359
    00:22:01.890 --> 00:22:02.590
    Was that her?

    360
    00:22:02.590 --> 00:22:04.710
    He tried swimming like his
    father had taught him but

    361
    00:22:04.710 --> 00:22:09.230
    with his arms they were too short to reach
    the water and all he could do was kick,

    362
    00:22:09.230 --> 00:22:13.460
    as people kept screaming and crying and
    the rain was coming down hard.

    363
    00:22:13.460 --> 00:22:18.829
    He tried to scream but no sound would come
    out of his mouth, and the screams and

    364
    00:22:18.829 --> 00:22:24.129
    the crying stopped and the only sound
    was the sound of the waves and the rain.

    365
    00:22:24.129 --> 00:22:26.785
    And the boy just kept kicking.

    366
    00:22:28.989 --> 00:22:35.296
    [FOREIGN]

    367
    00:22:35.296 --> 00:22:38.901
    Aye, no.

    368
    00:22:38.901 --> 00:22:39.850
    I love a good cry!

    369
    00:22:41.490 --> 00:22:42.370
    That was great.

    370
    00:22:45.170 --> 00:22:50.248
    Martina, it's a tragedy that
    turns into a [LAUGH] comedy.

    371
    00:22:50.248 --> 00:22:52.760
    Because the boy has been called
    a child of the dolphins

    372
    00:22:52.760 --> 00:22:57.705
    was rescued by two Miami dolphins,
    Dolores and Dominique.

    373
    00:22:57.705 --> 00:22:58.410
    Oh, they were so

    374
    00:22:58.410 --> 00:23:03.220
    good to the boy, first they all cried
    together the boy cried about his mother.

    375
    00:23:03.220 --> 00:23:06.660
    And Dominique cried about her own
    mother who died in child birth.

    376
    00:23:06.660 --> 00:23:11.080
    And Dolores cried about her baby calf
    who got hit by a Carnival cruise ship.

    377
    00:23:11.080 --> 00:23:15.339
    Then after they cried they [UNKNOWN] and
    echo-located [SOUND]

    378
    00:23:15.339 --> 00:23:17.270
    >> [LAUGH]

    379
    00:23:17.270 --> 00:23:18.830
    >> And when the boy was hungry,

    380
    00:23:18.830 --> 00:23:24.550
    he asked got milk and Dolores was
    still lactating, breast at the boy and

    381
    00:23:24.550 --> 00:23:28.680
    her milk was as sweet as dulce
    de leche the Hagen Daas.

    382
    00:23:30.290 --> 00:23:34.390
    They got along so well with
    the boy they wanted to adopt him.

    383
    00:23:34.390 --> 00:23:37.060
    Imagine, a boy with two mommies.

    384
    00:23:38.130 --> 00:23:40.945
    But the sharks vetoed the adoption.

    385
    00:23:40.945 --> 00:23:44.910
    Well they [UNKNOwN] and echo located and

    386
    00:23:44.910 --> 00:23:50.018
    they pushed the boy, Elian Gonzalez, to
    a fishing boat so he could be picked up.

    387
    00:23:50.018 --> 00:23:54.900
    Elian, Elian Gonzalez, I know him.

    388
    00:23:55.990 --> 00:23:57.460
    I know him.

    389
    00:23:57.460 --> 00:23:59.440
    This is not news.

    390
    00:23:59.440 --> 00:24:02.542
    This is a real tragedy.

    391
    00:24:02.542 --> 00:24:05.555
    I know him.

    392
    00:24:05.555 --> 00:24:09.641
    Thank you very much, thank you.

    393
    00:24:09.641 --> 00:24:11.687
    >> [APPLAUSE]
    >> Thank you and you know what happened?

    394
    00:24:11.687 --> 00:24:13.004
    You know what happened to Elian?

    395
    00:24:13.004 --> 00:24:13.925
    He got sent back.

    396
    00:24:13.925 --> 00:24:18.527
    In my story, this is just an excerpt in
    the story, what happens is Catalina and

    397
    00:24:18.527 --> 00:24:20.150
    Martina have a huge fight.

    398
    00:24:20.150 --> 00:24:23.819
    In a jealous rage
    the parrot hits the roach,

    399
    00:24:23.819 --> 00:24:28.393
    she ends up in a luggage bound for
    Miami with the old man.

    400
    00:24:28.393 --> 00:24:32.740
    And she ends up next door
    to Elian's relatives.

    401
    00:24:32.740 --> 00:24:37.021
    So she gets inducted in Miami into the AI,
    the Animal Internet,

    402
    00:24:37.021 --> 00:24:39.734
    by a transgender cat called Cassandra.

    403
    00:24:39.734 --> 00:24:41.750
    >> [LAUGH]
    >> And

    404
    00:24:41.750 --> 00:24:47.500
    when she does get inducted into that she
    actually does the interview with Elian,

    405
    00:24:47.500 --> 00:24:51.560
    one to one with Elian the day that the US

    406
    00:24:51.560 --> 00:24:56.400
    government sends the SWAT team to pick
    up Elian and sends him back to Cuba.

    407
    00:24:56.400 --> 00:25:01.852
    So the roach jumps in to Elian's
    sneaker and they fly off to Cuba,

    408
    00:25:01.852 --> 00:25:06.711
    where they eventually reunite
    Martina and Catalina and

    409
    00:25:06.711 --> 00:25:10.182
    they continue the vocabulary lessons and

    410
    00:25:10.182 --> 00:25:14.763
    they continue their discussions
    with Cafe con Leche.

    411
    00:25:14.763 --> 00:25:15.721
    Thank you very much.

    412
    00:25:15.721 --> 00:25:17.920
    >> [APPLAUSE]
    >> Thank you.

With What Ass Does the Cockroach Sit? / Con Que Culo Se Sienta la Cucaracha? [excerpt]

From Animal Acts: Performing Species Today by Edited by Una Chaudhuri and Holly Hughes

Info

Creator
Contributors
Subjects
  • Literary Studies
  • Cultural Studies
  • Theatre and Performance
Date
  • March 22, 2013
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