• A satirical video from Onion News Network about plans to adapt the Iron Man trailer into a feature-length film.

Transcript

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    <font color="#CCCCCC">Ironman</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> was one of the most popular</font>

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    trailers of last summer but controversy

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    is sweeping the<font color="#E5E5E5"> fan community today</font>

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    <font color="#E5E5E5">following</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the announcement that</font>

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    Paramount Pictures is planning<font color="#CCCCCC"> to adapt</font>

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    the beloved trailer into a

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    feature-length motion picture here<font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font>

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    discuss the details<font color="#E5E5E5"> is Entertainment</font>

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    Weekly writer

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    Rory<font color="#E5E5E5"> cubby Rory good to see you again</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font>

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    take it there's some mixed reaction to

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    this news what we're going to<font color="#E5E5E5"> do the</font>

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    <font color="#CCCCCC">Ironman</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> trailer is near and dear</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to a</font>

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    lot of<font color="#E5E5E5"> fans hearts so you can imagine</font>

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    how worried<font color="#CCCCCC"> people are about this news</font>

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    <font color="#CCCCCC">apparently the plan is to expand that</font>

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    fast montage a very short shot<font color="#E5E5E5"> seen in</font>

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    the trailer<font color="#CCCCCC"> into full length distinct</font>

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    scenes<font color="#E5E5E5"> and in between those scenes they</font>

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    plan to<font color="#E5E5E5"> add additional scenes that</font>

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    weren't in<font color="#CCCCCC"> the trailer</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> this doesn't seem</font>

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    <font color="#E5E5E5">like</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that would work that's right the</font>

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    fact<font color="#E5E5E5"> is it's very</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> difficult to make</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font>

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    <font color="#E5E5E5">character's story action that work in a</font>

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    <font color="#CCCCCC">90-second format also work when they're</font>

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    stretched out to 80<font color="#CCCCCC"> or 90 minutes</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> why do</font>

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    you think the trailer was so popular

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    <font color="#CCCCCC">well it does tell an amazing story</font>

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    Michael<font color="#CCCCCC"> a cocksure billionaire</font>

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    industrialist<font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> inventor is kidnapped</font>

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    but turns on his captors by designing an

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    amazing mechanized suit of armor

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    ultimately becoming a hero<font color="#E5E5E5"> to the world</font>

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    <font color="#E5E5E5">it is a breathtaking 90 second thrill</font>

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    <font color="#E5E5E5">rush surely then paramount realizes the</font>

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    tremendous financial<font color="#E5E5E5"> risk of alienating</font>

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    <font color="#E5E5E5">the trailers core fanbase if they don't</font>

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    embrace<font color="#E5E5E5"> the film exactly</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and that's why</font>

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    the studio has tried to reassure the

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    public that<font color="#E5E5E5"> everything that they</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> love</font>

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    <font color="#E5E5E5">about the trailer will be incorporated</font>

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    <font color="#E5E5E5">into the movie adaptation right down to</font>

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    <font color="#CCCCCC">actual lines</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> from the trailer and they</font>

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    are bringing<font color="#E5E5E5"> Robert Downey jr. back to</font>

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    reprise his role as Tony Stark<font color="#CCCCCC"> there</font>

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    would<font color="#E5E5E5"> have been a real outcry if they</font>

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    had<font color="#E5E5E5"> tried to cast someone else but that</font>

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    doesn't quell everyone's fears over

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    whether the integrity of the trailer<font color="#CCCCCC"> is</font>

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    in<font color="#E5E5E5"> danger</font>

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    for instance the redheaded<font color="#E5E5E5"> woman played</font>

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    by Gwyneth Paltrow<font color="#CCCCCC"> who's great she is</font>

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    great and fans love her<font color="#CCCCCC"> 3/4 of a second</font>

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    role I mean what if they gave her more

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    lines or more scenes<font color="#CCCCCC"> I mean who does</font>

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    what they'll put in there<font color="#E5E5E5"> between the</font>

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    point where he breaks out<font color="#E5E5E5"> of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> lab in</font>

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    the suit and<font color="#E5E5E5"> the point where he flies in</font>

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    front of those<font color="#CCCCCC"> jets what if they put in</font>

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    a tedious romantic subplot<font color="#CCCCCC"> that was</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> 20</font>

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    or<font color="#CCCCCC"> 30 minutes</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> long that doesn't sound</font>

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    <font color="#E5E5E5">good</font>

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    <font color="#CCCCCC">now I guess we'll all be waiting</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to see</font>

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    how it<font color="#CCCCCC"> actually</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> turns out yes</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> luckily</font>

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    <font color="#E5E5E5">for us paramount has announced that it</font>

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    plans to<font color="#E5E5E5"> release the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> movie in theaters</font>

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    along with a group<font color="#E5E5E5"> of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> eight entirely new</font>

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    entertainment packed trailers to screen

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    before<font color="#E5E5E5"> the film so even if the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> movie is</font>

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    <font color="#CCCCCC">no good hopefully the trip to the</font>

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    <font color="#E5E5E5">theater</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> will be</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> worth it anyway</font>

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    Rory<font color="#CCCCCC"> cubby thanks for being with us</font>

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    today<font color="#E5E5E5"> we'll see you later on</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> okay in</font>

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    Seattle today a man has bruised<font color="#E5E5E5"> 23</font>

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    <font color="#CCCCCC">people</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in a punching spree</font>

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    [Music]

Iron Man trailer Onion News Network Story, video

From Show Sold Separately: Promos, Spoilers, and Other Media Paratexts by Jonathan Gray

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  • Media Studies
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